Ah, 2025! A fresh start, a blank slate, and another chance to break our New Year’s resolutions by February. But this year is different, right? Right?? Whether you aim to hit the gym, save money, or stop doom-scrolling, here’s a funny guide to navigating the yearly resolution chaos with grace, and some humor.
Resolution 1: “This Is the Year I Get Fit”
Translation: You’ll buy new gym clothes, post a #NewYearNewMe selfie, and use your yoga mat once… as a cushion for movie night.
Pro Tip:
Try “snackercising”—working out between snack breaks. Just hear me out! If your cravings make your resolutions short-lived then try the good ol’ best of both worlds. When you get up to source snacks you can do some squats while waiting for your popcorn to pop. Trust me, it totally counts. We gotta start somewhere, right?
Resolution 2: “I’ll Save Money and Stick to a Budget”
Reality: You’ll “save” by avoiding Starbucks, then blow it all on an overpriced avocado slicer you saw on TikTok.
Pro Tip:
Set realistic goals, like “Don’t buy things you already own (looking at you, third water bottle).” Although it can be satisfying to own cool and new stuff, one day, you’ll wake up to find out you own a weirdly shaped fork for absolutely no reason. So, if the urge is strong, just close your eyes and scroll past. It will help remove the cause from your line of sight and hopefully save your pocket while at it.
Resolution 3: “I’ll Be More Organized”
What Happens: You buy a planner, use it for a week, and then rediscover it under a pile of unopened mail in July.
Pro Tip:
Start small. Organize one drawer, then celebrate like you’ve conquered Mount Everest. I sit very comfortably on this table especially when I have eye contact with my lots of christened and unchristened journals daily. So, I will be taking my own advice as you should too! Yay journaling.
Resolution 4: “I’ll Eat Healthier”
Expectation: Kale smoothies, quinoa bowls, and organic everything.
Reality: You’ll Google “healthy pizza recipes” by day three.
Pro Tip:
Balance is key. A side of fries with your salad is practically culinary diplomacy. Can we just try this time? Googling healthy pizza recipes is not “exactly bad,” but we gotta make sure we don’t tip the balance with an extra slice of chocolate cake. Remember, balance is everything, so don’t forget the non-fat Greek yogurt!
Resolution 5: “I’ll Spend Less Time on My Phone”
Let’s Be Honest: The moment you declare this, your screen time will skyrocket as you “research tips” on staying offline.
Pro Tip:
Set time limits on apps… and then spend those saved minutes bragging about your reduced screen time. Reverse psychology works wonders! And yes, you can “trick” yourself too. Do it many times, and you may probably create a habit. Trying never hurt anyone, right?
Whether you stick to your resolutions or not, remember that 2025 is about progress, not perfection. So, let’s embrace the chaos, laugh at our mistakes, and keep trying. Because at the end of the day, a good laugh burns calories, too, right?
Happy New Year!
Be the first to read my stories
Get Inspired by the World of Urwordsormine
Thank you for subscribing to the newsletter.
Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later.
